what do you think of my story .. by the way it is a true one
the pain, the suffering, the sacrifices that I made when I shut the door in front of everyone when I badly needed the help, the way my face looked like when my friends asked me for the reason why I go to school happy like the way I usually do, the thoughts when they thinks that I am living in a Barbie house, but unfortunately the Barbie’s house is to good to be truethe moment that I’ve entered the thought that I am lonely and I cant make it without a help, I started to set alone at my room thinking what these pills are going to do into my body when I take them all together, but believe me they made sleepy for a couple of hours and I woke up with this pain in my heart, and I realized that the pills can never bring my broken heart pieces together again because when the glass broke it never work. I’ve always felt lonely, I remember in one of the rainy days in my 1st grade I was sitting alone on my school stairs when 2 girls from the 7th grade stopped ; asking why am I sitting alone, I knew why I was sitting alone but I never knew why I had no friends , they where having fun of me in a trip that me and my class went to the circus, they were having fun of my tiny legs, a girl passed right beside me saying : eww that girl is small !!! and the worst thing was that they laughed at me all the time instead of laughing with the clown, when I moved in to another school I used to spend my free time with the school nurse, she was my best friend that I’ve ever had, all these years that I had at school I had never been able to have another best friend the way I was at school made me tuff and heartless, the way I was at school made me the weakest girl ever hiding behind the mean girl mask, I started to write my 1st dairy at the 4th grade, I started to wish death at the 6th grade and I started to hate myself ,blame myself and hurt myself in anyway that it could make me feel good towards myself, I started to cry wishing that one day my eyes will run out of tears, every time I try to forget it someone reminds me that I am useless and I don’t worth to live, I might not be daddy’s spoiled little girl or mom’s little girl, but I might be the loneliest little girl ever, I try to imagine the shape of my heart and all I can see is blanks, I try to imagine my family’s picture without me but all I can see is a happy family as they used to be, every person have these feelings when they start to feel that the world is running out of oxygen and they cant breath, that is the moment when I will remember every second that I spent my time crying at the toilet, I will remember every hour that I’ve been ignored by all the people that I’ve loved and built them a 5 stars hotel in my heart, the moment that I will joined the whole family when they pray at me before they bury me, the moment that I’ve hope the most that I could be alive to share them the few moments of pain and regrets that they know me better to know that I wanted them to smile and feel happy for me because for the 1st time I am doing something that I really want , I am leaving this world because I really want ..